Awareness of Self


Continuum of my persuaded hate
Is this emptiness what it means,
Fully filled, predator of caffeine and glyphosate
The poison is for me, in my water and beans

What doesn't kill me makes me wish it did
Ideation of true peace, God fucking forbid
Don't think to much, drink too much
I might have ideas and such..

But I don't really want them at all
I thought otherwise aeons ago
They just come to me uncalled
Some cliche that I don't know

They poison my head, embedd it with thoughts
I'm coerced into thinking, which I'd rather not

Freethinkers are dangerous, 
and of that I'm aware
And if it happened, an idea spawns
Dear lord that's quite a scare 😱 

I know the circles my mind likes to spin
When caught up in thinking, or lost in thought from within.. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Located Imbicility

Can you know the very same wisdom as I? The knowledge that came at the expense of learning. Experience isn't everything that first hands imply. Just a fraction of the fractured piece to returning. And it always comes to rest. As the sun seems to always rise for the morning. See those bleeding colors at the horizons crest. Refraction for the day that's forming. Even when i can see you, alive and right in front of me. I feel so very far from you and home. The manifesting of the end of my life, my world, most cherished piece of me. I've found the ice in this, a place where such cold was never known... It's almost impossible for me to believe and even more difficult to cope. We made it out to only ruin our own divinity. I'd relent to a higher power but keep thinking back to rope. It's all falling apart and i can only watch by helplessly. And i can see it all within you the same. Dumbfoundedness and indignation and the expanding distance. This hurt is our own and wha...
Read more

Permissions Allowed, Access Granted

I can't believe my own perceptions There's no way we let this come true It's clear from here we made wrong directions I've lost the only truth that i ever knew Everything's turned upside down And i might be swallowed up at any moment Stability has left the ground For this, there's no atonement... Everything's crumbling, I'm fragmented Was there a veil? Has it been lifted? I dont see anything but life demented It's all fucking changed, fundamentally distant And there's only dust left to sift through I'm entitled to believe my own deceptions There's no way we let this come true I thought nothing could break our connections... The best laid plans but we weren't vermin And barely human enough for self reflections Changes so subtle that we unnoticed the turning Away from the things that built our entirety The truest truths of all that i knew Only measures on a rictor of anxiety To lose my only desire, only ever wanted you And waking to a w...
Read more

Pacifist

How fast the passive fist engaged, amazed me. How fast the pacifists rage defaced peace. How at last these drastic implements increase. How come past my disasters ecstatic at its release. All semblance of order only orderly at face. A smile slackens as the eyes roll away out their sockets. Walleyed and melted on one side, everything in place. An utter waste, feign control to still succumb to the chaotic. Am I happy? Only once I mangle joy. Dismemberment of the structures. Do I make you happy too? Sequentially destroy. Mutilate the organized, constantly disrupted. Look at me, I was never to be trusted! Face-like expressions but there's nothing left to recognize. Displaced habituations, reference points disorganized. A frame for time, a frame of mind. A picture framed in a chalk outline. Can't have lost a good one, any one at all. Missing place, missing guide, less point immurement wall. Brick by brick, I'm sick, misguided and misplaced. Pointless discontent I wish could be e...
Read more